Here we go again
by ISnortSugar
Summary: Kurda is being chased by Vancha. What more can I say?
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to all the inspiration from other writers, sending myself into a coma after laughing too hard and banging my head onto the desk, accidentally spearing myself in the arm with a fork after slipping into aforementioned coma, too much sugar, and a deep respect and love for the CDF series. Hope you enjoy. Kurda is always the target isn't he. lolz.

Somewhere in the halls of Vampire Mountain, a high-pitched scream reverberated off the walls and filled the whole mountain with slight terror. The vampires looked from one to the other, hoping someone would have an explanation. The scream stopped and shortly started again, no less terrified, but now higher up from where it had last been.

The vampires looked around nervously again and wondered who would be that terrified they had to scream like they were being eaten alive.

In the hall of Osca Velm, the scream was the closest and the vampires in here were starting to get fidgety and nervous. Again the screaming stopped and, after a short interlude, started up again, seemingly more desperate this time, and it was getting closer. The vampires looked to the doorway leading onto one of the halls and waited. Some of them actually got up and dared to venture closer to the entrance.

The screamer was running, and running fast, and he ran right into the hall. The vampires standing at the doorway all screamed softly as Kurda ran in, clearly the screamer, without a shirt on and his golden locks flying behind him.

"GET BACK HERE KURDA!" Vancha came in moments later, chasing Kurda, with Kurda's shirt rolled up tightly, and cackling madly. Kurda was too busy screaming to give a dignified response and dashed out of the hall as quickly as he'd come in, Vancha still on his tail.

"Come on Kurda!!" Vancha yelled as he followed Kurda through the halls, twisting and weaving around panicked vampires that did their best to avoid the screaming mess that was Kurda and the running stench that was Vancha.

"GO HAVE A SHOWER!" Kurda managed to retort before the cracking sound of his shirt being flicked was heard, followed shortly by more screams from Kurda.

"Come ooooon! Arra's waiting for you!"

"Get stuffed!"

The other end of the shirt cracked and Kurda screamed before turning a corner sharply.

So who want's to find out why Vancha is chasing Kurda?? Interested aren't ya. Huh? Huh? Huh? Yup yup yup I think you are. If I get enough good reviews I'll write up some more.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok

Ok. So I got some lovely reviews. hugs reviews and gives out cookies

Down more halls. More screams. More frightened vampires sticking close to the walls so they wouldn't get run over. Kurda was so far doing a good job at evading Vancha. Though the rough Prince wasn't giving up anytime soon, in fact, he decided to change tactics.

"Kurda! You want your bleach back?" He laughed, still running. Kurda slowed ever-so-slightly and almost turned around before he figured it might be a trick.

"LEAVE ME ALONE VANCHA!" He yelled. Vancha had discarded the shirt sometime back.

"That's Daddy Vancha to you." He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the torment he was giving poor Kurda.

Another tunnel, more nervous vampire avoiding the pair. Vancha yelled something that Kurda missed and three vampires suddenly stood uneasily in his path. He tried to push them out of the way. Vancha stopped running and walked the rest of the way to the terrified Kurda, a smirk playing with the corners of his lips and a demonic light glinting in his eye.

"You really shouldn't have run." He smiled.

Kurda whimpered and looked for a way out. Behind Vancha. Around the three behind him. He'd even crawl across the roof if he had to. "No escape Kurda. You always have to run don't you?"

"You always have to threaten my bleach."

Vancha grinned and was close enough that if Kurda tried to run he could grab him in a second. Kurda started sweating and the three vampires behind him were looking at the Prince and his prey with raised eyebrows.

Vancha stepped closer to Kurda who screamed for all he was worth. Vancha lunged for him and Kurda dropped under the range of the attack, running under Vancha's arms and fleeing like a dog with its tail between its legs. Vancha took all of 5 seconds to turn around and follow.

It was now three hours into the chase, both Vancha and Kurda were starting to get tired. Several of the newer vampires were starting to wonder if maybe they'd made a horrible mistake in joining, others were used to displays like this. Especially from their rugged Prince.

The two vampires had somehow managed to make their way down the mountain, close to Seba Niles base of operations. They were one floor up and Kurda turned into a tunnel leading further up, he knew if they went any further down he'd be trapped. In the room, Seba was coming out and the two collided soundly, limbs tangling together and yelps of slight pain as fingers, legs, hands and arms ended up in positions they shouldn't be in.

Vancha stopped at the door, a large grin stuck on his fuzzy face. He knew he had Kurda now. But he was cautious, Seba was known for having a temper, even if it was short to rise most of the time. Now wasn't one of them.

"KURDA SMAHLT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The old quartermaster roared as he tried to pull Kurda's leg out of a very naughty spot.

"Seba, thank the vampire gods! Help me!" Kurda puffed.

"Get your hand off that!"

"Sorry."

The two struggle for a moment to find the pieces of themselves and when they finally stood, Vancha had to wait until Seba was finished with Kurda.

"What do you think you were doing running around bashing into others?"

"I… Vancha….."

"Vancha," Seba turned and included the Prince in on the chastising. "Should have known better. Can you not control one little vampire Sire? To think of the time I've just wasted, and am still wasting!"

"Sorry Seba. I like the chase. And Kurda gives a good one." Before the running started again, Vancha leapt for Kurda and seized him tightly in a bear hug from behind, his chin rested on the trembling Vampires shoulder and he grinned. "Sorry about the interruption Seba, but thanks for helping with catch my prey." Vancha stood up straighter and looked at Kurda as Seba grunted and moved off. "Now my little mouse, time for what I had planned earlier."

Disclaimer: I still don't own DS or CDF. Hence why this is a Fan FICTION site!

R&R, and enjoy


	3. Change of plan

"I… Vancha…

If only my other threads were as good as this one. I should write a comedy book.

Disclaimer: This is a FAN fiction site. Hard to understand, FAN fiction. Meaning – not written by the author. Fan – someone who enjoys something.

Darren Shan owns CDF.

Back up the hallways of vampire mountain. This time Kurda was choking on some rope that Vancha used as a temporary gag – to drown out the screaming. That doesn't mean the blonde haired vampire wasn't giving it his best shot.

"You scream like a girl Kurda." Vancha said after one particularly long muffled roar of terror.

"Urk oorg sheh hike a hegay-ing OG!" Kurda bit back through the gag.

Vancha turned and look at Kurda, his upside down grin annoying Kurda more than anything now.

"You look so cute as a turkey. When's Thanksgiving?" With a small laugh he resumed the dragging. "You shouldn't try to run. We're only trying to have some fun."

More muffled comebacks, less screaming. Vancha grins.

The Hall of Osca Velm. Not really a common place, but there were few vampires here, and therefore good places to pick on everyone's favorite blonde boy. Kurda had been ungaged and unbound, but was sitting inbetween Larten Crepsley and Seba Nile. He was fidgeting something chronic and Seba kept turning to glare at him.

"Let the games begin!" Darren said in a deep voice, then gave a small chuckle.

"Now we have Kurda we can."

"We heard him screaming from here. The way you ran Kurda!" Larten chuckled.

"I'm sure they could have heard … him from miles away." Harkut breathed, his mouth turning into a sharp toothed smile before he returned the white cloth over his mouth.

"Shut up and let's get on with it." Kurda mumbled, rubbing the corners of his mouth where the rope had cut in.

"Stop being such a bitch Kurda. I said I was sorry for tipping your bleach out!" Arra said from across the table.

"SO YOU SHOULD BE!" Kurda said, pushing himself to his feet and glowering at the female vampire. "Now what am I supposed to use?"

Kurda was tugged back down by the rim of his pants. "Why don't we play hide and seek. You all hide, I'll go and get more bleach." Kurda grumbled. Larten gave him a stout smack on the back as he started laughing. His expression however died almost as soon as it came. "You're not getting away that easy goldilocks."

If looks could kill, the vampires sitting around Kurda would be in small piles of ash by now.

"Why don't we skip the game and go map making?" Darren piped up. Everyone turned to look at him. Kurda half hopeful.

"Why would we do that? We're trying to embarrass Kurda. Not that he doesn't do a good job on his own." Vancha grinned.

Darren leant over and whispered in Vancha's ear, cupping his hand so that no-one else could hear. Vancha roared with laughter and fell off the chair he was sitting on.

"THAT'S GOOD! Let's go map making!"

Kurda smiled, happy that his embarrassment session was forgotten about. Momentarily at least. Little did he know what Darren had suggested to Vancha.

MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Maps, Kurda and people trying to embarrass him. We all know this is going to end badly. Who wants to find out more? You know the drill: R&R and enjoy.


	4. Kurda cries

Me: Sorry for the delay

Me: Sorry for the delay. And the short chappie. But as I was writing it my brother had a party and… well… Yeah. I don't actually remember any of that night……

DARREN DO THE DISCLAIMER!

Darren: Calm down…. Drunk ass.

GazdoesnotownanyoftheDarrenShanSageandonlywishesshedoes.

NowIgottarunbeforeshedisembowelsme! –runs-

Down in the bowels of the mountain, in an unexplored tunnel, Kurda sat huddled up with his hands over his face, and crying. Vancha and Darren were fighting over a piece of paper, trying to tell the other where they were supposed to go.

"It's left!" Darren shouted, a hint of laughter in his tone.

"No it's not!" Vancha retorted, loosing his battle with the giggles.

Seba and Larten were behind them with a small flock of Ba'Shans spiders. The spiders were tearing into more sheets of paper and moving the ripped segments into shapes. Seba and Larten were laughing.

"That one Seba. Move that one," Larten giggled, already having lost the fight with laughter. The spider Larten had pointed out started to move before Arra crawled up to Seba and whispered something in his ear. Seba started laughing and in turn told Larten what Arra had said.

The three of them burst into uncontrolled fits of laughter and the spider in question rapidly scuttled over to the crying vampire. It stopped a few feet short of Kurda and looked at him before moving forward more.

Since Kurda was too busy crying, and not looking at the torment his maps were enduring, he didn't notice the spider. The Ba'Shan spider finally made it over to the one-time Vampire General and scuttled over his leg. Kurda noticed _that_ instantly and let out a blood-curdling scream that was worse than the ones he'd given when Vancha had been chasing him.

"GET. IT. OFF. MEEEEEEEEE!!" He screamed.

"I didn't know a girls voice could get that high Kurda," Vancha laughed, finally giving up his giggle fight. Darren also gave in to the spirit lifting laughter and soon the two princes were laying on the ground, Darren draped over Vancha's torso as laughter pain gripped their ribs.

The spider crawled off Kurda's foot, looking dejected – even for a spider! – but that didn't stop Kurda's scream and for another minute, until he realized the 'danger' had passed, he kept it up.

Vancha continued to laugh at Kurda's scream and managed to crawl over to him. "It's okay Kurda. You can make more."

Me: Bloody vampire speed.

Mer: OMG I'M IN THE ENDING!

Emz: Read and Review!


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